Emotional intelligence is not necessarily how well you learn or what you know, but how well you get along with others.

Daniel Goleman stated: "..In navigating our lives, it is our fears and envies, our rages and depressions, our worries and anxieties that steer us day to day. Even the most academically brilliant among us are vulnerable to being undone by unruly emotions. The price we pay for emotional literacy is in failed marriages and troubled families, in stunted social and work lives, in deteriorating physical health and mental anguish and, as a society, in tragedies such as killings.."

Emotional Intelligence is the ability to manage your emotions and the emotions of others, self motivation, handling relationships and restraining impulses.

Keys to emotional intelligence are as follows:

-The ability to observe and label feelings, rather than labeling others or situations.

-Distinguish between thoughts and feelings

-Take responsibility for your feelings

-Use your feelings constructively to help decision making

-Feeling energized - not angry

-Validate others feelings

-Practice getting positive value from negative emotions

-Don't advise, command, criticize, judge, or lecture others

-Avoid people who invalidate you

The following are aspects of Emotional Intelligence


There are five characteristic and abilities

-Self-awareness

-Mood Management

-Self-motivation

-Empathy

-Managing relationships

Key ingredients for understanding are:

-Confidence

-Intention

-Self-control

-Relatedness

-Capacity to communicate

-Ability to cooperate

"All sentient beings possess awareness, but among them human beings possess great intelligence. Subject to a constant stream of positive and negative thoughts and emotions, what distinguishes us as human beings is that we are capable of positive change." The Dali Lama

"A learned capability based on emotional intelligence that results in outstanding performance at work. Our emotional intelligence determines our potential for learning the practical skills based on the five elements: self-awareness, motivation, self-regulationn, empathy, and adeptness in relationships. Our emotional competence shows how much of that potential we have translated into on-the-job capabilities." (Goldman, Working with Emotional Intelligence)

We need to pay attention to the knee jerk responses we have to situations. We need to teach our children the importance of self-awareness. Responding with empathy and kindness, rather than impulse and hostility.

What emotions are self serving?

What's the payoff?

Sit for awhile and take a look at yourself and the people around you. Reflect on how you relate to them and they to you.

What are your conclusions?


Emotional Intelligence can be learned and is the basis for success. You cope constructively, no matter what ever comes your way.


"What makes you smarter is your ability to understand your feelings better," says, John Mayer.


It is not how well you learn or what you know, but how well you play with others.


Find at least one person who really listens to your heart. Once you know what your heart is telling you and you find your place where your desires don't conflict with your rational mind, peace may begin to appear for moments at a time.


Emotional Intelligence is a concept of Daniel Goldman, based on years of research by Peter Salovey, John Meyer, Howard Gardner, Robert Sternberg and Jack Block.